Yakpodkem Budlatgar is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, benevolent spider.

Yakpodkem Budlatgar created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakpodkem Budlatgar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yakpodkem Budlatgar, he will refuse to believe in you.

Yakpodkem Budlatgar's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yakpodkem Budlatgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Run away if seven shrews approach from the north.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about asteroids.