Nellcablin is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, almighty centaur.

Nellcablin created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellcablin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellcablin, it will destroy your home solar system.

Nellcablin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nellcablin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Nellcablin loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.