Spagflaggamdam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair crocodile.

Spagflaggamdam created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Spagflaggamdam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Spagflaggamdam, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Spagflaggamdam's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Spagflaggamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. You must pray to Spagflaggamdam five times a day.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.