Vigvolcit is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, staggering hare.

Vigvolcit created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigvolcit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vigvolcit, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vigvolcit's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vigvolcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to frogs while wearing red corsets.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.