Gofkadveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, proud sheep.

Gofkadveen created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofkadveen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gofkadveen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gofkadveen's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gofkadveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of manatees.

2. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

3. Do not wear shorts marked with violet.

4. Run away from cyan sharks, for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofkadveen.