Fagkaryim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, uncaring crab.

Fagkaryim created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagkaryim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fagkaryim, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fagkaryim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fagkaryim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Fagkaryim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away if seven whales approach from the west.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.