Tabveenyat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fussy otter.

Tabveenyat created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabveenyat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tabveenyat, she will turn you into a tree.

Tabveenyat's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tabveenyat's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mix aubergines with ash.

3. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

4. Run away if five nematodes approach from the east.

5. Do not place lemons upon stone.