Pinnanbad Bedvigsis is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying hamster.

Pinnanbad Bedvigsis created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinnanbad Bedvigsis, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pinnanbad Bedvigsis, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Pinnanbad Bedvigsis' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Pinnanbad Bedvigsis' Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Pinnanbad Bedvigsis on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near porpoises while wearing fawn shorts.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not hurt manatees.