Komtofcat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited wren.

Komtofcat created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtofcat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Komtofcat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Komtofcat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Komtofcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Never handle carbon while unclean.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Never sing in autumn.