Mitpanjig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful ferret.

Mitpanjig created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitpanjig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mitpanjig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Mitpanjig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mitpanjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.