Pibjamzan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent mole.

Pibjamzan created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibjamzan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pibjamzan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pibjamzan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Pibjamzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

2. Do not take Pibjamzan's name in vain.

3. Always remove stockings before touching aluminium.

4. Never feed beans to doves while wearing gray shorts.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Pibjamzan on top of all buildings.