Monmatfon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying rhinoceros.

Monmatfon created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monmatfon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Monmatfon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Monmatfon's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Monmatfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

3. Never talk about goats.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.