Fligcumcap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable armadillo.

Fligcumcap created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Fligcumcap, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fligcumcap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fligcumcap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fligcumcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not take Fligcumcap's name in vain.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.