Rulloopflab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unjust wolf.

Rulloopflab created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulloopflab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulloopflab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rulloopflab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Rulloopflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Never talk about optics near dolphins while wearing pink ear rings.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulloopflab.

5. Never pour water over plants.