Xenvig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, smart wren.

Xenvig created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Xenvig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xenvig, he will not care at all.

Xenvig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Xenvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near badgers while wearing violet skirts and balancing six nickel spheres on your arms.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always help voles.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never travel toward the north during spring.