Narlkinnul is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic scorpion.

Narlkinnul created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlkinnul, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Narlkinnul, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Narlkinnul's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Narlkinnul's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Narlkinnul loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Never write about dark energy.