Kopbenflap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-assured gnu.

Kopbenflap created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopbenflap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kopbenflap, he will think nothing of it.

Kopbenflap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kopbenflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt mites.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat turnips.

4. Never laugh near otters.

5. Never write about moons.