Largnutzan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless manatee.

Largnutzan created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largnutzan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Largnutzan, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Largnutzan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Largnutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat birds with great respect.

2. Run away from violet ants, for they are unholy.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.