Bopkemvaglad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating manatee.

Bopkemvaglad created vertebrates five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopkemvaglad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bopkemvaglad, she will curse you with boils.

Bopkemvaglad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bopkemvaglad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

4. Never feed gooseberries to moths while wearing purple scarves.

5. Do not gather at doors at midnight.