Begsadmad Vadbossjig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented wombat.

Begsadmad Vadbossjig created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Begsadmad Vadbossjig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Begsadmad Vadbossjig, it will torture you forever.

Begsadmad Vadbossjig's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Begsadmad Vadbossjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Worship no other gods but Begsadmad Vadbossjig.

5. Do not take Begsadmad Vadbossjig's name in vain.