Gidlarnhab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, happy pigeon.

Gidlarnhab created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidlarnhab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gidlarnhab, she will turn you into a frog.

Gidlarnhab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gidlarnhab's Holy Commandments

1. Gidlarnhab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Always take life seriously.