Bossjabmon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, annoying dolphin.

Bossjabmon created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossjabmon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bossjabmon, he will make you grow a tail.

Bossjabmon's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bossjabmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midday.

2. Always wash your back before prayer.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Do not place apples upon stone.