Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent raccoon.

Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif, it will turn you into a mole.

Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif six times a day.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Always wear white.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Padgabdobkin Kikzenbif in the centre of the settlement.