Hapduntab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, kind cat.

Hapduntab created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapduntab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hapduntab, she will turn you into a tree.

Hapduntab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hapduntab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs fawn.

2. Never approach mountains carrying bone.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.