Lapbuspom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy goose.

Lapbuspom created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbuspom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lapbuspom, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lapbuspom's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Lapbuspom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix grapes with water.

2. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

3. Never gather nine geese in one place.

4. You must love Lapbuspom.

5. Always wear violet.