Flignullwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient dolphin.

Flignullwik created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flignullwik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flignullwik, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flignullwik's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Flignullwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flignullwik.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Do not take Flignullwik's name in vain.