Ort is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, moody hyena.

Ort created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Ort, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ort, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ort's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Ort's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if three moths approach from the south.

5. Always wear pink.