Gompadster is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, benevolent crab.

Gompadster created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gompadster, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gompadster, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gompadster's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gompadster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gompadster on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.