Xucflapdin is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish dolphin.

Xucflapdin created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucflapdin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xucflapdin, it will turn you into a hamster.

Xucflapdin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Xucflapdin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn snails, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Xucflapdin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never play with disobedient children.