Lagstervid Gemwod is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident scorpion.

Lagstervid Gemwod created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagstervid Gemwod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lagstervid Gemwod, she will turn you into a puffin.

Lagstervid Gemwod's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Lagstervid Gemwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt gulls.

2. Lagstervid Gemwod must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.