Bitrenpas is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, omnipotent donkey.

Bitrenpas created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitrenpas, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bitrenpas, it will turn you into a worm.

Bitrenpas' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bitrenpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Bitrenpas in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Worship no other gods but Bitrenpas.