Arpnutyar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, strong octopus.

Arpnutyar created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpnutyar, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arpnutyar, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arpnutyar's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Arpnutyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near squirrels while wearing red shirts and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Never paint your face green.