Karflanpagwap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, proud jaguar.

Karflanpagwap created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karflanpagwap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Karflanpagwap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Karflanpagwap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Karflanpagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide if seven mites approach from the east.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always help sick birds.

5. Fast once a month.