Flantabkab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, conceited guinea pig.

Flantabkab created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flantabkab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flantabkab, she will manifest in front of you.

Flantabkab's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Flantabkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing orange boots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never feed lots of peas to moths while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Do not shave your head.