Hunzanrowingtarpcud is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, passionate squid.

Hunzanrowingtarpcud created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunzanrowingtarpcud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hunzanrowingtarpcud, he will manifest in front of you.

Hunzanrowingtarpcud's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hunzanrowingtarpcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near foxes while wearing red shirts.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.