Kaddanriljan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, thoughtless scorpion.

Kaddanriljan created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaddanriljan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kaddanriljan, he will turn you into a worm.

Kaddanriljan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kaddanriljan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never bounce near snakes.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

5. Do not listen to music.