Jenvan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, resourceful hummingbird.

Jenvan created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenvan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jenvan, he will turn you into a worm.

Jenvan's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing brown stockings and balancing six lead spheres on your chest.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.