Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, resourceful naga.

Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar, he will turn you into a rock.

Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tundambestkenfadyik Jabsterwigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near nematodes while wearing magenta boots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about spacetime near geese while wearing purple shorts and balancing six copper spheres on your back.