Karvonlat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, conceited horse.

Karvonlat created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karvonlat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Karvonlat, she will turn you into a mole.

Karvonlat's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Karvonlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention rats.

2. Never feed lemons to sharks while wearing shirts.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.