Mipvanxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, stupid armadillo.

Mipvanxuck created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipvanxuck, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mipvanxuck, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Mipvanxuck's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mipvanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

4. Always look after injured eagles.

5. Never gather three rats near doors.