Bamgan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic tortoise.

Bamgan created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bamgan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bamgan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bamgan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bamgan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bamgan.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bamgan.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect five gold sculptures of Bamgan on top of important buildings.