Arnfabben is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fussy raccoon.

Arnfabben created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Arnfabben, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arnfabben, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arnfabben's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Arnfabben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to squirrels while wearing green hats.

3. Always help frogs.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.