Tofsatbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, proud sheep.

Tofsatbif created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofsatbif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofsatbif, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tofsatbif's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tofsatbif's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tofsatbif.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.