Nibgupquill is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, wise snail.

Nibgupquill created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibgupquill, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nibgupquill, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nibgupquill's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nibgupquill's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

5. Do not listen to music.