Tailjipnut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, caring cobra.

Tailjipnut created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailjipnut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailjipnut, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tailjipnut's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tailjipnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never proclaim while facing west.

2. Never eat peanuts on holy days.

3. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing shirts.

4. Always store lentils above ground.

5. Never chant in the presence of birds.