Vigwipsom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, clever armadillo.

Vigwipsom created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Vigwipsom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vigwipsom, he will turn you into a rat.

Vigwipsom's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vigwipsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never look at stars.