Banwotbep Hampopdob is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, omnipotent wren.

Banwotbep Hampopdob created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banwotbep Hampopdob, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Banwotbep Hampopdob, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Banwotbep Hampopdob's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Banwotbep Hampopdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

5. Never eat lentils on days of mourning.