Gadtonkfarrakweg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, merciful ferret.

Gadtonkfarrakweg created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gadtonkfarrakweg, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gadtonkfarrakweg, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gadtonkfarrakweg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gadtonkfarrakweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. You must never eat corn.

3. Worship no other gods but Gadtonkfarrakweg.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never feed apples to nematodes while wearing turquoise hats.