Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, overgenerous hyena.

Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Laklistjon Fobhivtab Wotditdav.

5. Do not shave your head.