Satvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, flying badger.

Satvonk created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Satvonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Satvonk, he will be mildly annoyed.

Satvonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Satvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing purple boots and balancing five silver spheres on your legs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Satvonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about fire.