Hamafmon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, irritating toad.

Hamafmon created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hamafmon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamafmon, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hamafmon's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hamafmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never feed corn to gulls while wearing shorts.

5. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Hamafmon on top of important buildings.