Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring zebra.

Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about dark energy near otters while wearing magenta stockings.

3. Worship no other gods but Jarnyikstansisbom Natvoghas.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Feed all hungry goats.