Betpig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying dugong.

Betpig created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betpig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Betpig, he will turn you into a dog.

Betpig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Betpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Do not kill voles.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not covet oxen.