Gutmipgem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, two-faced newt.

Gutmipgem created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutmipgem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutmipgem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gutmipgem's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gutmipgem's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove trousers before touching titanium.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Do not resist order.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Never write about asteroids.