Tunbitcub is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful troll.

Tunbitcub created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunbitcub, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tunbitcub, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tunbitcub's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tunbitcub's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Never talk about dark energy near rats while wearing blue scarves.

5. Never look in ponds.