Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident hyena.

Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Put Linbastontnurlnurtdossfarn first in all things.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not listen to music.