Gutmumyik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, charitable lizard.

Gutmumyik created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutmumyik, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gutmumyik, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gutmumyik's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gutmumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Gutmumyik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Never eat cherries.